John’s taking a well-deserved night off, so here’s a brief (and pale) imitation of the original.

Rockies 1 @ Cubs 9. The Rox offensive woes continued as they managed just one run or less for the fourth time in five games, and 2 runs or less in 6 of their last 7. If not for a Josh Rutledge homer in the 9th, Colorado would have been shut out for the 3rd time in 4 games, something no Rockies team has ever done. That charge from the gate with 6 or more runs in 10 of their first 15 contests (something only 23 other clubs have done) seems but a distant memory.

More after the jump.

Yankees 0 @ Indians 1. Justin Masterson tamed the Yankee bats with his second shutout of the young season. Masterson becomes the first Indian since Greg Swindell 25 years ago with 2 or more shutouts in the team’s first 40 games of the season. In game 2, the unlikely duo of Vidal Nuno and Adam Warren salvaged a split for the Bombers with a 7-0 whitewash. It’s the first team shutout in the game-searchable era turned in by two pitchers, each with 3+ IP and each appearing in the the first 10 games of their careers.

Braves 10 @ Snakes 1. After losing their last 3 to the Giants and scoring just 4 runs, the Braves put a licking on Wade Miley to the tune of 7 runs over 5 innings. It was Miley’s first stinker of the year, coming on the heels of his win over the Dodgers last week in which he logged his first 7 inning outing. Miley had a similar pattern in 2012, going 7 innings for the first time only on May 20th, but finishing the year with 12 starts of that length.

Royals 11 @ Angels 4. The Royals pounded out 19 hits (incl. 5 by Billy Butler) as Joe Blanton‘s woes continued in his worst outing of the season. Which is saying something. Blanton has 8 starts with the Halos, each allowing 3+ runs and 7+ hits, the longest such streak in Angels’ history. It’s also tied for the 8th longest streak by any pitcher to start a season, but well behind the record 18 games by Phil Collins (who somehow went 7-8 in that span for the 1932 Phillies).

Getting back to Billy Butler, he will likely reach 1000 hits for his career by the end of this month, and will very likely pass 1100 by the end of the season which would put him 1st on the Royals hits list in the first 7 seasons of a career and ahead of you-know-who. Among the 100 players since 1901 with 1100 hits through their age 27 season, 38 finished with over 2500 knocks and 16 reached 3000.

Astros 2 @ Tigers 7. Two Tiger homers pushed the Astros total for the season to 63 HRs allowed, easily the worst in the majors (Tampa Bay and Milwaukee are second with only 48). Houston has now moved into the top 10 for most HRs allowed in the first 40 games of the season, and with one game still to go to! Of the top 25 teams on that list, only two (the 1961 Braves and 1964 Athletics) played before the 1995 season.

Nats 6 @ Dodgers 2. While attention was focused on the extent of Bryce Harper‘s injury, LA ‘s offensive woes continued, logging 9 hits but scoring only twice as they failed to draw a walk for the 5th time this season, tied for second most in the majors. The Dodgers also managed but a single hit in 11 chances with RISP. For the season, LA ranks 9th in AB with RISP, but only 23rd in BA in those situations.

Mets 3 @ Cards 6. The key frame was the 7th. The Cards have a runner at 2nd with nobody out and a tie score . The play-by-play then reads “M Carpenter reached on infield single to catcher, T Wigginton scored.” So, I’m guessing the bunt went up the line, John Buck fielded it, but nobody bothered to cover home. Right? Then Scott Atchison picks the wrong time to serve up his first homer of the year, as Matt Holliday finishes the scoring for the Redbirds. Atchison was used for the 19th time this season, and it’s starting to show – he’s allowed hits to 5 of his last 7 batters, and 9 of his last 17. The Mets drop 7 under .500 for the first time.

That’s all, folks!