I just read the crappiest article in the New York Post about how Johnny Damon can’t find a team because he wants to get to 3,000 hits. This is absolute garbage! The author Mr. John Sherman quotes 3 executives, that remain unnamed of course, that say Johnny will be swinging more and costing himself walks or some other BS. The author sites stats that would back him up, however what is not said is that like most players, Johnny Damon’s numbers have declined with age. OK, I understand that there is a cooperative effort to keep JD out of the HoF. I’d like to see a cooperative effort to strip the (alleged) child molester of his HoF award from 2 years ago, that being Bill Conlin. The silence on this dirt bag from the buddy, buddy world of sportswriters is amazing. Conlin is sitting on his fat ass down in Florida polishing his award while dirt bag sportswriters snipe on good guys like JD and Tony Gwynn. We live in a sick world.
The Daily News has more readers than the Post (so does the NY Times, but a lot of that may be outside of the NY/NJ area too). Regardless, the Post is crap (this coming from a local).
Dave – Let me slow down a bit for you. Those other papers have a larger circulation that’s true. But that’s not what I said. Survey after survey shows that the Post is the most read newspaper in NY, by NY’ers! Idiots across the country get the Times so they can pretend their smart, and from I understand the other rag is popular in the suburbs and Long Island. I like to read the Post online so I can keep up with hero taxi drivers, cheating welfare recipients, teachers that have sex with students, and the Kardashians.
Dave V.
Timmy Pea – let me slow down a bit for you…when you say that “I understand the other rag is popular in the suburbs and Long Island”, Long Island is part of New York. New York also has suburbs. Feel free to post links to your surveys that show the Post is more read inside New York than the other papers though, if you have the time to do show between reading about Juan Pierre and the Kardashians 😉
Hartvig
I’m not convinced it’s actually some kind of conspiracy to keep Damon out of the HOF so much as his declining skills and how much he expects to be paid for them. The trend for years has been away from DH only type players and while Damon has more value in the outfield than say Vlad Guerrero it’s hard to imagine that a team could find a less expensive option that would have more potential upside especially since there’s good reason to believe that his decline in walk rate last year was no fluke. There’s also no case to be made as there was for Biggio in that he would be a big draw since whoever Damon signs with will likely be his 7th franchise at he’s at least 2 and mostly likely 3 years away from reaching 3000 hits if he ever does.
As far as taking the award away from Conlin… You are right that he’s a monster of the first order. And that it hasn’t been much written about by sportswriters. But unlike Sandusky his crimes weren’t connected to sports in anyway, at least that I’m aware of. And if you start punishing people retroactively for bad behavior then where do you stop? Is being a child molester that much worse than almost single handedly keeping blacks from being able to play in the major leagues as Cap Anson did? Hell, I’d be more comfortable with kicking Anson out than Conlin because at least his sin was directly related to the game.
Hartvig, are you actually saying that racial discrimination in the workplace is worse than raping children? I think that the only people who will agree with you are rapists.
… man I can’t wait for April so that we actually start talking about baseball again.
No, I think his point was that Anson is more deserving of severe penalties specifically with respect to baseball than Conlin is. Conlin, clearly, is more deserving of actual criminal charges.
But I think we always punish athletes for their misdeeds off the field/court, even if it’s subconsciously.
To take an extreme example, O.J. Simpson. I think just about everybody’s memories of his exemplary play on the field are tarnished by what he did (*cough* you know, ‘allegedly’) in his post-football “career.”
Hartvig
Voomo- That “racial discrimination in the workplace” you’re referring to didn’t mean in those days that momma didn’t get a new Lexus this year or junior didn’t get a Play Station for Christmas. It was part of a system that meant your children lived in abject poverty, that they went to bed hungry and they died from a lot of things that they shouldn’t have.
So yes, I would say that the man who championed that discrimination that was a blight on our national pastime for almost 4 generations was every bit the scumbag that Conlin was.
Yeah, and that system still exists, in many places, in many forms. Just seems like a strange argument to compare a child rapist to a guy born in a slave-state in 1852 who thought he was better than black people.
Timmy Pea
Wow Hartvig, I’ve never seen anyone bend over backwards that far to stick up for a child molester. Not only did Conlin molest little kids, he tried to use the power of his medium to change the subject and to blame the victims. He thought he could do a dance with Deadspin and make himself out to be the victim. So Cap Anson was a racist, that trumps any crimes committed by a beloved sportswriter?
(From his Wiki page) “In June 2008, Conlin caused controversy when he said in response to an e-mail from a writer identifying themselves as “Raul” from Vineland, New Jersey, read by host Michael Barkann on Comcast SportsNet’s Daily News Live: “I’m surprised that guy would leave the blueberry harvest to send that off.”
Now, to be fair, I think we’ve become too uptight/sensitive as a society. I think people should be allowed to make jokes, even if they have a racial element to them. I have no idea whether or not Conlin is a racist, and obviously, Anson’s part in extending segregation is much worse than a cheap little “blueberry picker” joke by Conlin. Still, if we’re going to bring out the racist card, we have to be consistent with it.
Back to Johnny Damon. Take away his first year in the majors, he averages 61 walks a year. So last year he walks 51 times which means he takes a selfish, me-first approach at the plate according to sportswriter Jimmy Sherman of the New York Post. 10 walks! That’s it, and you are geared to getting 3,000 regardless of the cost to your team. Well let’s not forget the Rays had a fantastic year last year, and Damon was a big part of it. He accepted his role with grace and played hard.
Take away Damon’s first year and he’s be a lot further from 3,000 hits which would derail any HOF talk. Just sayin’…
Anyway, this was discussed on the old B-R forum. There simply aren’t that many DH openings and Damon wants too much for what he has to offer a team. That’s the problem. Reduce his contract demand, accept that he may not get a full-time job, and he will probably find someone to sign him.
I don’t disagree with anything you said, let the market work. But, saying that getting close to 3000 is causing him to be a less effective player, or a selfish player is an out-and-out lie. There are no stats beyond a standard deviation to make that argument either.
Wait I just realized that I agreed with something Timmy posted. Definitely a sign of the end times. 🙂
Timmy Pea
Damon had a career high in HBP last year also. According to this dink in the Post, he would be avoiding HBP at all costs so he could rack up his hits. It’s stupid.
Brian Wells
I had heard that the Detroit fans could sometimes ride Clemens pretty hard,but I didn`t know that it was literally!
You know, for years I thought that was asinine as well — until last July 16. I was prepping for a non-credit baseball class I teach in the summers for our local Osher Lifelong Learning chapter (this particular class was going to focus on the “bad guys” of baseball, Clemens included), and I happened to catch a highlight of Eric O’Flaherty, pitching for the Braves against the Nationals that day. The batter’s bat shattered, and I believe O’Flaherty instinctively put up his glove and caught or deflected the broken barrel. As the catcher ran up to check on him, he was laughing and one could clearly lip-read “I thought it was the ball.” I think we sometimes forget just how quickly 60.5 feet gets covered by a flying object — this game can move pretty fast at the highest levels.
I appreciate the anecdote and the video. But there’s a big difference between the incidents. As Howard said, there’s absolutely no logical explanation for what Clemens did with the bat fragment after he fielded it.
There are many other examples of Clemens’s assheadedness, without touching on the Piazza incident or his use of steroids. The one that permanently turned me off was when he used a special glove with a big “300” patch on it while going for his 300th win against the Red Sox, which I found extremely tacky. As Derek Zumsteg of Baseball Prospectus wrote back then: “Wearing commemorative merchandise for an event that hasn’t occurred yet? That’s ridiculous.”
Boston complained that the glove was non-regulation, and the umpire made him change gloves. Clemens told the umpire that the commissioner’s office had sent him the glove, but an MLB spokesman denied any knowledge.
Perfectly logical.
Imagine being on that mound.
Feel the crowd at the stadium before that 2-strike pitch.
A bat flies at you.
Suddenly it is in your hand.
You throw things for a living.
Absolutely natural reaction.
And look at Clemens after the fact.
All he wants is a new ball from the ump..
Great find, VZ! That shows how fast it all went down. I’ve become convinced that Clemens initially thought it was the ball, and was focused only on that — I’m sure a measure of “tunnel vision” is useful for maintaining concentration on the ballfield. In the split-second he realized it was actually the bat, he just flung it away, not even recognizing that Piazza was jogging down the line. I don’t think Clemens ever saw him: he saw ball, he got bat, he tossed bat — all within 2 seconds.
Paul E
Or maybe Clemens just threw the bat at him? Piazza, in his career, goes .421/.500/1.105 with 4HR in 19 at bats off Clemens. Maybe the ultra-competetive,’roid-raged, uptight Texan had a frustrated hair up his ass knowing Piazza was generally going to get the better of him?
And the thing that skews this is the slow motion replay. We watch and say “See, it’s the bat” but in real time we’re talking 10ths of a second from pitch to end result. It’s easy to see how O’Flaherty would think that was the ball.
I was always a big fan of his pitching. Gibson, Dave Stewart, and Ryan, too. I thought the guys that just didn’t fool around on the mound and intimidated batters were the best. All the other stuff just doesn’t matter. Clemens was a kick-ass pitcher.
Timmy Pea;
I read the Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, and Barron’s. I also read The Hill, and posts from Larry Sabato’s Center For Politics.
But for insight, humor, a pungent sense of irony, and access to some of the finest minds in the country, I come to High Heat Stats.
Once I got all my letters down after leaving high school, I did a lot of reading, but not so much anymore. Mostly now I watch baseball on the internet, go to bars, and watch cat videos on youtube. A couple of weeks ago I was downtown at the cigar store and I had my cat in the car with me. I decided to stop at a strip bar afterwards and I didn’t want to leave my cat in the car because I was afraid someone would steal her so I took her in the strip bar with me. We were in the club for about half an hour when the bouncer told me I couldn’t have my cat in the club. I protested, but he said it was against state health regulations! This bar like most strip bars is the most filthy place known to man-kind. My cat Sally was the cleanest thing in that hole. The carpets in strip bars are like a Petri dish of sleaze and garbage, and their telling me it’s against health regulations to have a cat in a strip bar unless it’s a service animal. I’m working on getting Sally certified as a service animal. I think one of the dancers turned me in.
How dare you!!! Take your poor defenseless kitty into that filthy place!!! Of course there are laws against this sort of animal cruelty!!! You should be ashamed!!! Now go and buy some cat toys!!!
It is not hating to merely point out when someone is acting hatefully & decry the action. Though when you act hatefully, you will naturally reap a measure of hate too.
If sportsmanship & decency matters, or the example to others, especially kids, then it matters when Clemens is abusive, or lies under oath in the most brazen fashion. Appreciate his talent & competitive drive, though realize it was enhanced through cheating too.
A guy & his dog walk into a bar. He saunters up to the bartender, slaps down a bill, & says:
“Ill bet you this 20 spot against 2 rounds of your finest scotch that my dog can speak & even answer questions accurately”.
The large Bartender smiles “Now i have heard it all. OK wiseguy, you’re on”!
Guy turns to his mutt: “OK, boy, now tell us: what is at the top of most any building”?
Dog, panting, essentially says: “Roof, Roof”!
Guy: Good boy! OK, now what do you do for the home team?
Dog: sounds like “Root, root”?
Customers laugh & point, slap knees…
Bartender rolls then narrows his eyes, crosses his arms.
Other patrons laugh uproariously.
“I’m gonna need something more definitive than that, mac”.
Guy: “OK, I’ll show you how he can think & analyze a situation”!
“Attaboy, now bring it on home: Fido, who was the best baseball player ever”?
Dog: Pauses, blinks, wags his tail a few times. Then for all the world, seems to go “Ruth, Ruth”! Or so it could seem…
Customers are dying, creaming, falling off stools & crying with laughter…
Bartender: “I’ve had just about enough of this tomfoolery & simple minded scam bub. Out with the both of you”!
Then he picks up the dog in one arm, grabs the guy by the collar, takes them through the door, tosses the one to the curb, & puts his shoe to the back of his owner. Both land sit on the curb.
Guy sighs disconsolately, hands under his chin, elbows on his legs, stays silent.
Dog licks himself, pants some more, turns to his owner quizzically:
There is a story in “The Book of Truly Stupid Sports Quotes” that one of basketball player Bobby Hurley’s teachers told. “He [Hurley] once asked me if Beirut was named after the famous baseball player who hit home runs.”
In the countdown of “Truly Stupid Sports Quotes”, I don’t think anyone will ever top what an NBA player (Patrick Ewing?) said during the strike of 1998-1999, along the lines of:
NBA players need to make lots of money, because WE SPEND lots of money…”
Does that top Latrell Sprewell turning down $21 million because he had to “feed [his] family”?
Ed
How about this one from Jose Canseco:
“You know my life, this financial thing, is a very complicated issue. Obviously, when you make all that money, people think, ‘OK, let’s assume it is $35 million.’ People have to understand that $35 million, you’re paying the government 41 percent. That leaves you with about $17 or $18 million, not even. Then you’re taking care of your whole family.”
Timmy Pea
Latrell got his boat repo’d in Wisconsin not too long ago.
Lawrence Azrin
#52/Dr. Doom –
Ha! Ha! Ha! – yeah, that’s a great one too,but I think the Ewing quote (I checked,it was him, BTW) tops that one for singular foolishness and wrong-headedness. I mean, literally, a player _does_ have to feed his family, but any player can _spend less money_ when they are _making less money…
I guess he really was getting those injections in his butt. Look at that increase.
So THAT’S what they meant when they always called Roger a “workhorse.”
I just read the crappiest article in the New York Post about how Johnny Damon can’t find a team because he wants to get to 3,000 hits. This is absolute garbage! The author Mr. John Sherman quotes 3 executives, that remain unnamed of course, that say Johnny will be swinging more and costing himself walks or some other BS. The author sites stats that would back him up, however what is not said is that like most players, Johnny Damon’s numbers have declined with age. OK, I understand that there is a cooperative effort to keep JD out of the HoF. I’d like to see a cooperative effort to strip the (alleged) child molester of his HoF award from 2 years ago, that being Bill Conlin. The silence on this dirt bag from the buddy, buddy world of sportswriters is amazing. Conlin is sitting on his fat ass down in Florida polishing his award while dirt bag sportswriters snipe on good guys like JD and Tony Gwynn. We live in a sick world.
No idea exactly what you’re spouting off about, but you DO realize the Post is a tabloid, right?
It’s also the most read newspaper in New York. Here is the link
http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/yankees/forget_about_hit_LhWK6fOBqWp9dNKqr6pP5M
The Daily News has more readers than the Post (so does the NY Times, but a lot of that may be outside of the NY/NJ area too). Regardless, the Post is crap (this coming from a local).
The Post is the most read paper in NY. Not NY and NJ, not NY and Omaha, but in NY by people in NY.
Sorry, you’re wrong:
http://www.showbiz411.com/2011/11/01/ny-daily-news-trumps-ny-post-in-circulation-new-data (as of 11/1/11)
http://www.poynter.org/latest-news/mediawire/130676/wsj-remains-largest-circulation-daily-newspaper/ (as of 5/4/11)
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aGROwVqf2y8E (as of 1/29/10)
For sports news the Post is fine.
Dave – Let me slow down a bit for you. Those other papers have a larger circulation that’s true. But that’s not what I said. Survey after survey shows that the Post is the most read newspaper in NY, by NY’ers! Idiots across the country get the Times so they can pretend their smart, and from I understand the other rag is popular in the suburbs and Long Island. I like to read the Post online so I can keep up with hero taxi drivers, cheating welfare recipients, teachers that have sex with students, and the Kardashians.
Timmy Pea – let me slow down a bit for you…when you say that “I understand the other rag is popular in the suburbs and Long Island”, Long Island is part of New York. New York also has suburbs. Feel free to post links to your surveys that show the Post is more read inside New York than the other papers though, if you have the time to do show between reading about Juan Pierre and the Kardashians 😉
I’m not convinced it’s actually some kind of conspiracy to keep Damon out of the HOF so much as his declining skills and how much he expects to be paid for them. The trend for years has been away from DH only type players and while Damon has more value in the outfield than say Vlad Guerrero it’s hard to imagine that a team could find a less expensive option that would have more potential upside especially since there’s good reason to believe that his decline in walk rate last year was no fluke. There’s also no case to be made as there was for Biggio in that he would be a big draw since whoever Damon signs with will likely be his 7th franchise at he’s at least 2 and mostly likely 3 years away from reaching 3000 hits if he ever does.
As far as taking the award away from Conlin… You are right that he’s a monster of the first order. And that it hasn’t been much written about by sportswriters. But unlike Sandusky his crimes weren’t connected to sports in anyway, at least that I’m aware of. And if you start punishing people retroactively for bad behavior then where do you stop? Is being a child molester that much worse than almost single handedly keeping blacks from being able to play in the major leagues as Cap Anson did? Hell, I’d be more comfortable with kicking Anson out than Conlin because at least his sin was directly related to the game.
Hartvig, are you actually saying that racial discrimination in the workplace is worse than raping children? I think that the only people who will agree with you are rapists.
… man I can’t wait for April so that we actually start talking about baseball again.
No, I think his point was that Anson is more deserving of severe penalties specifically with respect to baseball than Conlin is. Conlin, clearly, is more deserving of actual criminal charges.
But I think we always punish athletes for their misdeeds off the field/court, even if it’s subconsciously.
To take an extreme example, O.J. Simpson. I think just about everybody’s memories of his exemplary play on the field are tarnished by what he did (*cough* you know, ‘allegedly’) in his post-football “career.”
Voomo- That “racial discrimination in the workplace” you’re referring to didn’t mean in those days that momma didn’t get a new Lexus this year or junior didn’t get a Play Station for Christmas. It was part of a system that meant your children lived in abject poverty, that they went to bed hungry and they died from a lot of things that they shouldn’t have.
So yes, I would say that the man who championed that discrimination that was a blight on our national pastime for almost 4 generations was every bit the scumbag that Conlin was.
Yeah, and that system still exists, in many places, in many forms. Just seems like a strange argument to compare a child rapist to a guy born in a slave-state in 1852 who thought he was better than black people.
Wow Hartvig, I’ve never seen anyone bend over backwards that far to stick up for a child molester. Not only did Conlin molest little kids, he tried to use the power of his medium to change the subject and to blame the victims. He thought he could do a dance with Deadspin and make himself out to be the victim. So Cap Anson was a racist, that trumps any crimes committed by a beloved sportswriter?
Well, with respect to Conlin and racism:
(From his Wiki page) “In June 2008, Conlin caused controversy when he said in response to an e-mail from a writer identifying themselves as “Raul” from Vineland, New Jersey, read by host Michael Barkann on Comcast SportsNet’s Daily News Live: “I’m surprised that guy would leave the blueberry harvest to send that off.”
Now, to be fair, I think we’ve become too uptight/sensitive as a society. I think people should be allowed to make jokes, even if they have a racial element to them. I have no idea whether or not Conlin is a racist, and obviously, Anson’s part in extending segregation is much worse than a cheap little “blueberry picker” joke by Conlin. Still, if we’re going to bring out the racist card, we have to be consistent with it.
This is by far the most accurate of all of the gifs. You forgot the ear growing out of his forehead, though.
I imagine that some of the guys here and at Baseball Reference are friends with Bill Conlin being that both are based in Philadelphia.
Back to Johnny Damon. Take away his first year in the majors, he averages 61 walks a year. So last year he walks 51 times which means he takes a selfish, me-first approach at the plate according to sportswriter Jimmy Sherman of the New York Post. 10 walks! That’s it, and you are geared to getting 3,000 regardless of the cost to your team. Well let’s not forget the Rays had a fantastic year last year, and Damon was a big part of it. He accepted his role with grace and played hard.
Take away Damon’s first year and he’s be a lot further from 3,000 hits which would derail any HOF talk. Just sayin’…
Anyway, this was discussed on the old B-R forum. There simply aren’t that many DH openings and Damon wants too much for what he has to offer a team. That’s the problem. Reduce his contract demand, accept that he may not get a full-time job, and he will probably find someone to sign him.
I don’t disagree with anything you said, let the market work. But, saying that getting close to 3000 is causing him to be a less effective player, or a selfish player is an out-and-out lie. There are no stats beyond a standard deviation to make that argument either.
Okay fair point. On the one hand, his walk rate DID decrease last year. But, I just took a look at his 1st/2nd half splits.
During the first half, he walked once every 17.8 PAs. During the second half, he walked once every 9.4 PAs.
That’s basically the opposite of what you would expect if he were purposely taking fewer walks in order to get more hits.
Wait I just realized that I agreed with something Timmy posted. Definitely a sign of the end times. 🙂
Damon had a career high in HBP last year also. According to this dink in the Post, he would be avoiding HBP at all costs so he could rack up his hits. It’s stupid.
I had heard that the Detroit fans could sometimes ride Clemens pretty hard,but I didn`t know that it was literally!
Timmy Pea’s comments here remind me of that time when Clemens threw Piazza’s broken bat at him and swore he thought it was the ball.
You know, for years I thought that was asinine as well — until last July 16. I was prepping for a non-credit baseball class I teach in the summers for our local Osher Lifelong Learning chapter (this particular class was going to focus on the “bad guys” of baseball, Clemens included), and I happened to catch a highlight of Eric O’Flaherty, pitching for the Braves against the Nationals that day. The batter’s bat shattered, and I believe O’Flaherty instinctively put up his glove and caught or deflected the broken barrel. As the catcher ran up to check on him, he was laughing and one could clearly lip-read “I thought it was the ball.” I think we sometimes forget just how quickly 60.5 feet gets covered by a flying object — this game can move pretty fast at the highest levels.
Doesn’t change the accuracy of the morph, though.
Here’s an animated .gif, though without the denouement:
http://gif.mocksession.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/OFLAHERTYBAT.gif
It also doesn’t explain why, if he thought it was the ball, he threw it at Mike Piazza instead of throwing it to first base.
I appreciate the anecdote and the video. But there’s a big difference between the incidents. As Howard said, there’s absolutely no logical explanation for what Clemens did with the bat fragment after he fielded it.
There are many other examples of Clemens’s assheadedness, without touching on the Piazza incident or his use of steroids. The one that permanently turned me off was when he used a special glove with a big “300” patch on it while going for his 300th win against the Red Sox, which I found extremely tacky. As Derek Zumsteg of Baseball Prospectus wrote back then: “Wearing commemorative merchandise for an event that hasn’t occurred yet? That’s ridiculous.”
Boston complained that the glove was non-regulation, and the umpire made him change gloves. Clemens told the umpire that the commissioner’s office had sent him the glove, but an MLB spokesman denied any knowledge.
(ESPN game story)
Here’s a great video of the bat-throwing taken from the stands:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Slf380uxU0s&feature=related
Perfectly logical.
Imagine being on that mound.
Feel the crowd at the stadium before that 2-strike pitch.
A bat flies at you.
Suddenly it is in your hand.
You throw things for a living.
Absolutely natural reaction.
And look at Clemens after the fact.
All he wants is a new ball from the ump..
Great find, VZ! That shows how fast it all went down. I’ve become convinced that Clemens initially thought it was the ball, and was focused only on that — I’m sure a measure of “tunnel vision” is useful for maintaining concentration on the ballfield. In the split-second he realized it was actually the bat, he just flung it away, not even recognizing that Piazza was jogging down the line. I don’t think Clemens ever saw him: he saw ball, he got bat, he tossed bat — all within 2 seconds.
Or maybe Clemens just threw the bat at him? Piazza, in his career, goes .421/.500/1.105 with 4HR in 19 at bats off Clemens. Maybe the ultra-competetive,’roid-raged, uptight Texan had a frustrated hair up his ass knowing Piazza was generally going to get the better of him?
And the thing that skews this is the slow motion replay. We watch and say “See, it’s the bat” but in real time we’re talking 10ths of a second from pitch to end result. It’s easy to see how O’Flaherty would think that was the ball.
But where’s the morphing? I see a horse’s arse in both pictures.
Oh, I see, the difference is the glove.
I like Roger Clemens the pitcher. Just sayin’.
I’m with you, Mike.
He’s pretty much awesome. Don’t like the hatin’
This is funny, here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SoIdgjZPn4
I was always a big fan of his pitching. Gibson, Dave Stewart, and Ryan, too. I thought the guys that just didn’t fool around on the mound and intimidated batters were the best. All the other stuff just doesn’t matter. Clemens was a kick-ass pitcher.
Timmy Pea;
I read the Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, and Barron’s. I also read The Hill, and posts from Larry Sabato’s Center For Politics.
But for insight, humor, a pungent sense of irony, and access to some of the finest minds in the country, I come to High Heat Stats.
That’s awesome!
Once I got all my letters down after leaving high school, I did a lot of reading, but not so much anymore. Mostly now I watch baseball on the internet, go to bars, and watch cat videos on youtube. A couple of weeks ago I was downtown at the cigar store and I had my cat in the car with me. I decided to stop at a strip bar afterwards and I didn’t want to leave my cat in the car because I was afraid someone would steal her so I took her in the strip bar with me. We were in the club for about half an hour when the bouncer told me I couldn’t have my cat in the club. I protested, but he said it was against state health regulations! This bar like most strip bars is the most filthy place known to man-kind. My cat Sally was the cleanest thing in that hole. The carpets in strip bars are like a Petri dish of sleaze and garbage, and their telling me it’s against health regulations to have a cat in a strip bar unless it’s a service animal. I’m working on getting Sally certified as a service animal. I think one of the dancers turned me in.
I could have sworn that was going to be a p_____y in a strip bar joke.
I think that’s how I got busted, one of the gals turned me in because I was petting a p____y for free.
How dare you!!! Take your poor defenseless kitty into that filthy place!!! Of course there are laws against this sort of animal cruelty!!! You should be ashamed!!! Now go and buy some cat toys!!!
It is not hating to merely point out when someone is acting hatefully & decry the action. Though when you act hatefully, you will naturally reap a measure of hate too.
If sportsmanship & decency matters, or the example to others, especially kids, then it matters when Clemens is abusive, or lies under oath in the most brazen fashion. Appreciate his talent & competitive drive, though realize it was enhanced through cheating too.
A guy & his dog walk into a bar. He saunters up to the bartender, slaps down a bill, & says:
“Ill bet you this 20 spot against 2 rounds of your finest scotch that my dog can speak & even answer questions accurately”.
The large Bartender smiles “Now i have heard it all. OK wiseguy, you’re on”!
Guy turns to his mutt: “OK, boy, now tell us: what is at the top of most any building”?
Dog, panting, essentially says: “Roof, Roof”!
Guy: Good boy! OK, now what do you do for the home team?
Dog: sounds like “Root, root”?
Customers laugh & point, slap knees…
Bartender rolls then narrows his eyes, crosses his arms.
Other patrons laugh uproariously.
“I’m gonna need something more definitive than that, mac”.
Guy: “OK, I’ll show you how he can think & analyze a situation”!
“Attaboy, now bring it on home: Fido, who was the best baseball player ever”?
Dog: Pauses, blinks, wags his tail a few times. Then for all the world, seems to go “Ruth, Ruth”! Or so it could seem…
Customers are dying, creaming, falling off stools & crying with laughter…
Bartender: “I’ve had just about enough of this tomfoolery & simple minded scam bub. Out with the both of you”!
Then he picks up the dog in one arm, grabs the guy by the collar, takes them through the door, tosses the one to the curb, & puts his shoe to the back of his owner. Both land sit on the curb.
Guy sighs disconsolately, hands under his chin, elbows on his legs, stays silent.
Dog licks himself, pants some more, turns to his owner quizzically:
“Do you think I should have gone with DiMaggio”?
Mike,
Very good denoument, you told that well. BTW, in the 1980’s, there would’ve been a reference to “Beruit”.
There is a story in “The Book of Truly Stupid Sports Quotes” that one of basketball player Bobby Hurley’s teachers told. “He [Hurley] once asked me if Beirut was named after the famous baseball player who hit home runs.”
In the countdown of “Truly Stupid Sports Quotes”, I don’t think anyone will ever top what an NBA player (Patrick Ewing?) said during the strike of 1998-1999, along the lines of:
NBA players need to make lots of money, because WE SPEND lots of money…”
Way to get sympathy from the general public, huh?
Does that top Latrell Sprewell turning down $21 million because he had to “feed [his] family”?
How about this one from Jose Canseco:
“You know my life, this financial thing, is a very complicated issue. Obviously, when you make all that money, people think, ‘OK, let’s assume it is $35 million.’ People have to understand that $35 million, you’re paying the government 41 percent. That leaves you with about $17 or $18 million, not even. Then you’re taking care of your whole family.”
Latrell got his boat repo’d in Wisconsin not too long ago.
#52/Dr. Doom –
Ha! Ha! Ha! – yeah, that’s a great one too,but I think the Ewing quote (I checked,it was him, BTW) tops that one for singular foolishness and wrong-headedness. I mean, literally, a player _does_ have to feed his family, but any player can _spend less money_ when they are _making less money…